Fake it ’till you Make it

This post goes right along with my Affirmations post. Affirmations are about creating a road map to where and who you want to be. Start where ever you are and figure out where you want to go. Then you can act that part until it sticks. That may sound easy. It’s not really.

A trainer at my gym talks non-stop about how we create who we are, we have to believe in ourselves to make it work, our minds make our bodies…. He is trying to affirm that we have control of who we are, what we look like, how we act, think, LIVE! It’s true and frustrating. It is easier if it’s everyone else’s fault, or in our genes. Then we don’t have to change. We can just wallow.

His challenge this week was to continue to repeat to yourself, over and over (affirm), that “I am beautiful. I am strong. I am capable.” Even if you don’t believe it. Just keep saying it until you do. I call this

Fake it ’till you Make it

Sometimes, when you really want something to be true, you have to make it so. That means hard work, determination, and a positive mind set. The positive mind set is the push behind it all. If you don’t believe it will happen, it really won’t. Sometimes, you just have to fake like you really believe it, until you really, really do. You have to repeat it over and over and over until it sticks. Much like how you learned everything else in your life, it was repeated to you until it became a part of you.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  What do you want to see?

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Try this

Write what ever pops into you head, without hesitation. Don’t think, just write. Keep going until you hesitate:

I AM _____________

Yikes, what happened? Did you know you thought all those things about yourself? How many are positive and how many are negative?

Now, write down what you want people to believe about you. What you want to believe about yourself. Be as specific as possible. You can think about this one.

How can you remind yourself to be that person, the future you, every day? I recommend the affirmation. Kick out the old and in with the new.

No quick fix

There is no easy way, fast recovery, magic pill, or other method to make everything right overnight.

It takes work and time.

I know, I know. We would prefer the quick fix. We are raised to envy those who seem to have it easy, to want it all, to be everything and be happy. The half hour sitcom should be our life!

It’s not. Therefore, I deal with the frustration of clients often.

“Nothing is better”

“It still hurts”

“When does it go away?”

“It happened again”

“I am so tired of feeling like this!”

Psyches are not scarred easily. We are resilient by nature. We are made tough, to fight, scrape, and have a strong will to live. It is nearly impossible to drown yourself. We are born with some innate genetic qualities, personalities quirks, intelligent quotients, etc. Mostly, though, it is the nature of becoming that makes you who you are. You can be raised to be even tougher, more resilient, strong in self, confident in your abilities and worthiness of love. You can also be raised to give in, give up, be a victim, take whatever is thrown at you because you believe that you have little or no value.  Or anywhere in between.

If something happens to you, that nature takes over. You will maintain your will, or lack of, in your recovery. That recovery may even be from your own childhood. Depending on how long your psyche has been abused, the time it takes to heal is relative. IT IS POSSIBLE! It is always, always possible. It does take time, strength, determination, will, support, and fortitude.

YOU are not broken. You are still here. You are willing, able and determined to make it, however that is. Take the parts, paths and pasts of you that need some love and understanding and do just that. Give yourself that time and determination to do the work. It is worth it.