Fake it ’till you Make it

This post goes right along with my Affirmations post. Affirmations are about creating a road map to where and who you want to be. Start where ever you are and figure out where you want to go. Then you can act that part until it sticks. That may sound easy. It’s not really.

A trainer at my gym talks non-stop about how we create who we are, we have to believe in ourselves to make it work, our minds make our bodies…. He is trying to affirm that we have control of who we are, what we look like, how we act, think, LIVE! It’s true and frustrating. It is easier if it’s everyone else’s fault, or in our genes. Then we don’t have to change. We can just wallow.

His challenge this week was to continue to repeat to yourself, over and over (affirm), that “I am beautiful. I am strong. I am capable.” Even if you don’t believe it. Just keep saying it until you do. I call this

Fake it ’till you Make it

Sometimes, when you really want something to be true, you have to make it so. That means hard work, determination, and a positive mind set. The positive mind set is the push behind it all. If you don’t believe it will happen, it really won’t. Sometimes, you just have to fake like you really believe it, until you really, really do. You have to repeat it over and over and over until it sticks. Much like how you learned everything else in your life, it was repeated to you until it became a part of you.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  What do you want to see?

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Try this

Write what ever pops into you head, without hesitation. Don’t think, just write. Keep going until you hesitate:

I AM _____________

Yikes, what happened? Did you know you thought all those things about yourself? How many are positive and how many are negative?

Now, write down what you want people to believe about you. What you want to believe about yourself. Be as specific as possible. You can think about this one.

How can you remind yourself to be that person, the future you, every day? I recommend the affirmation. Kick out the old and in with the new.

Strength of Affirmations

We have all heard the story of the The Little Engine that Could that made it over the mountain chanting “I think I can. I think I can.”  It is the simplest version of an affirmation there is. Giving ourselves strength through thought.

Affirmations are a means to “affirm” or strengthen and implant a belief in your head. It is to believe that something is true or exists. If you think you have never used these, think about all those sayings your parents or teachers had you still remember. For example: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”

Some of those thought patterns can be positive or negative. They also run your life. No matter what kind of thought patterns you have, they determine what you do, what you think, how you feel about things and yourself. If you grew up in a negative home with emotional or physical abuse. You may have little trust in yourself. You may not believe that you deserve to be happy or have a good relationship or job.

Ok, so what. I got a bunch of junk in my head telling me I’m a bad person. Thanks a lot. That’s not really my point.

You have the power to change those thought patterns

How? By creating some positive affirmations that speak to you. You can come up with some positive messages that change the negatives and make it stick! It really can be done. I recently wrote up on my mirror in dry erase marker, my favorite place for affirmations, You deserve gratification. This is related to my post on pleasure vs gratification. I want to remind myself that my goals are life long, not immediate. I want happiness, not numbness.

When creating an affirmation, think of a reoccuring negative pattern in your life. Usually something you want to change, but don’t know how. What is behind that? Often it is because we don’t think we deserve to be happy or have good things. One of the most common ones I prescribe is  I deserve happiness

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Here’s the rules:

  1. Put is where you can see everyday, several times. Mirror, door, car.
  2. It needs to be positive. Don’t use: No, not, don’t, won’t, can’t shouldn’t, etc
  3. Present tense. I am, I can. no will, some day, in the future. TODAY!
  4. Be Specific. A good life, good relationship… too vague.
  5. Make it personal. Every affirmation starts with I
  6. Don’t use more than 3 at a time. It’s too much.
  7. Change one at a time when you think it sticks. NOT when it makes you mad, cause it’s working if it’s challenging your thinking.